maybe you could do an interface in the style of /net,
rather than having channels as literally named files.
i.e. a clone file and a ctl file into which you'd write
"connect #/\/\/\_Hey_/\/\/\#"
and read/write the data file for messages.

in fact, you could event bind it into /net, teach /net/cs about it,
and then you'd be able to do:

telnet 'irc!#/\/\/\_Hey_/\/\/\#'

i know nothing of irc so i don't know if this would make any sense
at all; it's just a thought.