Re: [9fans] Brdline

[andrey mirtchovski <andrey@lanl.gov>]

why not, it's wednesday after all and we're pretty far off topic:

...None of these facts,  however  strange  or  inexplicable,  is  as
strange  or  inexplicable  as  the  rules of the game of Brockian
Ultra-Cricket, as played in the higher dimensions. A full set  of
rules  is  so  massively complicated that the only time they were
all  bound  together  in  a   single   volume,   they   underwent
gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole.

A brief summary, however, is as follows:

Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You  won't  need  them,
but it keeps the crowds amused.

Rule Two: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player. Clone  him
off  a  few  times.  This  saves  an  enormous  amount of tedious
selection and training.

Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large  field
and build a high wall round them.

The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator
sport,  the  frustration  experienced  by  the  audience  at  not
actually being able to see what's going on leads them to  imagine
that it's a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has
just watched a rather humdrum game  experiences  far  less  life-
affirmation  than  a  crowd  that believes it has just missed the
most dramatic event in sporting history.

Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted  items  of  sporting  equipment
over  the  wall for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats,
basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you  can  get  a  good
swing with.

Rule Five: The players should now lay about  themselves  for  all
they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player
scores a "hit" on another player, he should immediately run  away
and apologize from a safe distance.

Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and
points, delivered through a megaphone.

Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.

[and elsewhere]

"Let's be blunt, it's a nasty  game"  (says  The  Hitch  Hiker's
Guide  to the Galaxy) "but then anyone who has been to any of the
higher dimensions will know that they're a pretty  nasty  heathen
lot  up  there  who should just be smashed and done in, and would
be, too, if anyone could work out a way  of  firing  missiles  at
right-angles to reality."