The fact that this is ridiculous does not show that I am wrong.
I think you are taking this discussion a bit too much seriously.
About people "trying to wrap my head around FP for months, with little result..." what can I say? Maybe the answer is that FP is simply too hard for a larger audience?
What about quantum chromodynamics? I personally don't understand anything about the argument, even the Wikipeda article is totally obscure to me. And still I don't think this is a problem for people working on that topic and I don't advocate a substantial review of the discipline to enlarge the public.