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From: Karl Dahlke <eklhad@comcast.net>
To: edbrowse-dev@lists.the-brannons.com
Subject: [edbrowse-dev] happy new year
Date: Mon, 31 Dec 2018 07:21:23 -0500	[thread overview]
Message-ID: <20181131072123.eklhad@comcast.net> (raw)
In-Reply-To: <alpine.LRH.2.03.1812310030020.9774@carhart.net>

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I have to think carefully as I respond to these kind words.

> Hope everyone is doing all right.

Not well at all, but thank you.
My son has reached a crisis, physical and psychological, from which he might not survive.
I've seen it coming for 8 years, and tried to fix it, or postpone it, for 8 years, but it is here.
I spent my life savings, and money from friends, and money I don't even have (unpaid taxes etc), trying to fix it, but it is here.
No matter what happens, even if my son miraculously recovers, Wendy and I will be poor and eking out a sad living for the rest of our lives.
Well we have each other, I guess that's something.
How does one prepare for, or recover from, the death of a child? I don't know.
Meantime I can't do much but hide under a blanket and play solitaire and listen to Blakmore's Night, over and over and over again.
Even thinking about what's for dinner is overwhelming.
That means no work on edbrowse, as you have seen.
If a software project doesn't keep up, it falls behind, and if it is far enough behind, it dies.
Example: if I hadn't converted to duktape, it would no longer be distributed, which is the first step to extinction.
Well something else will come along, something that I'm not keeping up with, and I don't care, because nothing matters to me any more.

There is something else that I work on from time to time. It doesn't take as much brain power or concentration, and I can do a few minutes and then walk away, and it's something to think about besides my son and solitaire.
It's a book, or would like to be a book some day.
I imagine it's only about 15% written, so a lot of work ahead, and again, I don't know if I care, or if it's worth the bother.
Afterward someone has to edit, and fact-check, and illustrate, and help me publish, and I don't even know who that would be.
So it seems futile, like everything else I do, but I work on it sometimes.
You can see it here.


> Best wishes to the list subscribers 

And to you.

Karl Dahlke

      parent reply	other threads:[~2018-12-31 12:29 UTC|newest]

Thread overview: 3+ messages / expand[flat|nested]  mbox.gz  Atom feed  top
2018-12-31  8:32 Kevin Carhart
2018-12-31 10:57 ` Chuck Hallenbeck
2018-12-31 12:21 ` Karl Dahlke [this message]

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