[9fans] Greetings for the Holiday Season

[9fans] Greetings for the Holiday Season

[Brantley Coile]

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!  I hope it
has been a good year for every one, and that the
upcomming year will be even better.  Don't eat
too much and watch out for the Egg Nog.

  Brantley Coile

Re: [9fans] Greetings for the Holiday Season

[Brantley Coile]

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add chicken stock and 
   allow to simmer for 20 minutes. 
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish, 
   lobster, long piglet, or what have you. 
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least 
   15 minutes more. 
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive! 



Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf - 
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften. 
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil, 
   then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely) 
   and season well. 
Place in a large bowl and cool. 
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy, 
   enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll. 
Place seam down in a baking pan. 
Ladle tomato gravy on top, 
   and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.



Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, 
so why not consume it? 
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical 
   cords so they won?t be tough). 
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion 
   then fold in half, trimming neatly. 
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; 
   allow to sit for a few minutes. 
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown, 
   about 6 minutes on each side.



Shish Kababes

Re: [9fans] Greetings for the Holiday Season

[Brantley Coile]

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this classic holiday feast. 
Although time consuming, this dish seems to take longer than it actually does; 
as the entire house is filled with such a heavenly aroma, 
the waiting becomes almost unbearable.

1 whole child, cleaned and de-headed
1 batch cornbread stuffing (see index)
½ cup melted butter

Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside. 
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located 
   using ½ cup per pound of meat. 
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity. 
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan. 
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours. 
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the 
   baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°, 
   about another hour.



Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy. 
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics 
thrive and hot French bread is always available.

2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture. 
Dredge thoroughly in flour. 
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown. 
Remove and place on paper towels.



Holiday Youngster

One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented, 
it violates no religious taboos against swine. 

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves

Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish