Re: [9fans] Brdline

[Bruce Ellis <bruce.ellis@gmail.com>]

what cricket is on the tv today?  when do i have to get to pub?
why is life so complex?  ken once commented that a simple
RCA connector was not standardized but everyone agreed
to make them the same.  there are zillions in the world.
maybe it was standandized post factum.

brucee

On 1/19/06, andrey mirtchovski <andrey@lanl.gov> wrote:
> why not, it's wednesday after all and we're pretty far off topic:
>
> ...None of these facts,  however  strange  or  inexplicable,  is  as
> strange  or  inexplicable  as  the  rules of the game of Brockian
> Ultra-Cricket, as played in the higher dimensions. A full set  of
> rules  is  so  massively complicated that the only time they were
> all  bound  together  in  a   single   volume,   they   underwent
> gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole.
>
> A brief summary, however, is as follows:
>
> Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You  won't  need  them,
> but it keeps the crowds amused.
>
> Rule Two: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player. Clone  him
> off  a  few  times.  This  saves  an  enormous  amount of tedious
> selection and training.
>
> Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large  field
> and build a high wall round them.
>
> The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator
> sport,  the  frustration  experienced  by  the  audience  at  not
> actually being able to see what's going on leads them to  imagine
> that it's a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has
> just watched a rather humdrum game  experiences  far  less  life-
> affirmation  than  a  crowd  that believes it has just missed the
> most dramatic event in sporting history.
>
> Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted  items  of  sporting  equipment
> over  the  wall for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats,
> basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you  can  get  a  good
> swing with.
>
> Rule Five: The players should now lay about  themselves  for  all
> they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player
> scores a "hit" on another player, he should immediately run  away
> and apologize from a safe distance.
>
> Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and
> points, delivered through a megaphone.
>
> Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.
>
> [and elsewhere]
>
> "Let's be blunt, it's a nasty  game"  (says  The  Hitch  Hiker's
> Guide  to the Galaxy) "but then anyone who has been to any of the
> higher dimensions will know that they're a pretty  nasty  heathen
> lot  up  there  who should just be smashed and done in, and would
> be, too, if anyone could work out a way  of  firing  missiles  at
> right-angles to reality."
>
>
>